The Influence of Family Relationship in the Character Formation of Children

Growing up I would hear adults sing to their mothers and say that they compare them to their second god. Having understood the role of God in our lives, the greatest and the most significance is that He is the creator of all things. Now comparing this to the songs about mothers, then we note that the singers referred to their mothers as their second creator. A creator in the simplest definition is someone who have the power to bring something into existence, that which had not existed before. Mothers and parents are creators, they not only bring a child into the world, but also they create other things in these children, including behaviors and various characters.

While describing the life of a child in terms of behaviors and characters, I always have one stand, that the memory of young children are like a new memory card or a flash disk. The parents, the family and the closest people around a child are devises through which these new memory cards receive files in form of various types of information. It is these people therefore who have the ability to train their children in the right or the wrong ways and make them believe so for the rest of their lives. The family and the environment at which a child is brought up in therefore have everything to do with the character formation of a child. The good book does also mention and say that, while we teach the children the ways of the Lord, then they shall never depart from it even at their old age.

The first word that a child utters while they are learning to speak will always be Mum or Dad. This is because it has been the word they have been hearing and seen since their arrival on the earth. The other words are the closest and the most frequent words they hear people close to them utter or talk about. That is why while the mother thinks that their child is ugly and is degusted by that fact and keeps on telling it to the child, and then they believe so, lowering their self esteems, something that would be very difficult to snap them back from.

I will always hold on to the fact that the relationship of the family will have everything to do with the character formation a child at all levels. For instance a certain child was brought up by a single mother; she was a little girl and therefore knew no dad in particular. The mother would however come in with a different man every night and would tell the daughter to call them father. The child one day asked the mother, “Mum, How many dads do you have?” the mother could not answer, but since the kid had learnt that other kids have only  one mum and dad, the equation was not adding up on her,  and therefore thought that maybe theirs is a special case. It would be difficult to change such a child, especially while they learn the hard truth.

Families that have been used to conflicts will always be so, unless the good Lord saves one of them. While an antelope give birth, the young one learns to eat and run within minutes, since that is the way of survival. In the same way, if a family is used to conflicts, the first words that children learn are defensive and abusive ones, so as to cope up with the situation. On the other hand, if a family is peaceful, the children will also be calm and peaceful. Family relationships are therefore very important in a child’s life.

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